Una volta che è diventato chiaro che non avresti seguito il consiglio del tuo consulente su questioni importanti, sarebbe stato meglio passare da un consulente a uno con cui potresti lavorare. Invece, hai continuato, in effetti, senza un consulente. Il tempo limitato per le riunioni, la lentezza della risposta via e-mail e la richiesta di redigere il LOR mi suggeriscono un atteggiamento del tipo "Perché sprecare il mio tempo a dare consigli che comunque non verranno presi?".

Tu non può essere sicuro che stia mentendo sul fatto che altre persone redigano il proprio LOR a meno che tu non abbia parlato con ogni persona per cui ne ha mai inviato uno. Potrebbe pensare di conoscere alcuni studenti abbastanza bene da scrivere un LOR da zero, ma ha bisogno di una bozza per altri.

Il meglio che puoi fare a questo punto è scrivere quello che consideri un LOR ragionevole e dallo a chi non è consulente.

One thing that hasn't been addressed yet:

I further asked if he can provide me a copy of a completed version of the recommendation but he refused.

You seem to view this as a danger sign, but I would not. Practices regarding letters of recommendation vary around the world (and you haven't said where you are), but at least for the US, the custom is that a letter is sent confidentially from the writer to the recipient, and the candidate (about whom the letter is written) never sees it. The idea is that this makes it more possible for the writer to speak freely.

I'd expect your advisor to refuse such a request even if your relationship was great and he was writing you the awesomest letter ever. It would be very unusual for him to agree to show you the letter, under any circumstances. I don't think it was an appropriate request for you to have made.

Of course, it is possible that he is planning to write an unfavorable letter, but there is really no way to know without reading his mind. To my mind, this particular fact (that he wouldn't show you the letter) isn't really evidence one way or the other.

È successo a me, ma peggio. Il mio supervisore postdoc ha revocato unilateralmente la mia borsa di studio, non ero mai completamente sicuro del perché.

Quello che sto facendo attualmente è includere i miei altri consulenti / professori e dire esplicitamente che avevo un disaccordo con lui, che lui Ho annullato la mia borsa di studio, ma sono stato scagionato da qualsiasi illecito (l'agenzia di finanziamento mi ha dato una nuova borsa di studio pochi mesi dopo) ed è per questo che non ho chiesto un LOR.

Il mio attuale supervisore era a conoscenza dell'intero affare sin dall'inizio e gli stava bene.

Sii onesto, sii chiaro, non nascondere nulla.

I think your attitude at this point has to be, "What I really need right now, and all I need right now, is a strong letter of recommendation. To heck with the past."

Your former adviser has actually made you a very good offer: write the letter yourself. Thus, do write a letter that focuses on what the project was about, what you believe you contributed, and what the results were -- including that the results were very meaningful and that your thesis led to a publication. Do mention which outlet the piece was published in. If you think it's relevant, you may also write something about how you think you developed as a researcher during the project. Focus on output and don't dwell on inputs, i.e., don't write something like "Mr. X worked long hours, including lots of weekends".

You have, of course, no control over how your ex-adviser may see fit to edit the letter once you hand it over to him. However, if you limit your letter to what's factually correct and essential to your potential future employer, I think there's an excellent chance that the ex-adviser may simply sign the letter and send it to whomever you say needs the letter. I see two reasons for being optimistic. First, don't underestimate the power of inertia: If the adviser wants to apply any edits (minor or major), he will have to do the extra work. Given that you described his eventual behavior (accurately or inaccurately) as passive aggressive, he may decide it's too much work on his part to edit the letter. Second, don't underestimate the desire of many established researchers to have successful advisees. If he were to write something unflattering about you, that may well be read as a sign of failure on his part. If he's at all rational, he'll want to avoid the risk of creating such an impression.

You are very unlikely to get a good post-doc position without a strong letter from your advisor. If you don't provide a letter from your advisor, that looks like a huge red flag, and most people hiring are not going to consider your application.

If your relationship with your dissertation advisor was poor, that puts you in a lousy position. However, having your advisor ask for a template letter to work from, while not ideal, is not necessarily terrible either. It doesn't indicate the greatest investment on his part in your future success, but it doesn't mean that he won't write a strong letter either. And I wouldn't assume that he hasn't done something similar with some of his other former students, either, even if you haven't heard about it.

Blaming others or yourself at this point is useless. I would do the following to go around the issue, by politely asking the following two groups of academics:

1. Your Examiners: During the viva, you will have a number of examiners, these are one of the best people to ask about recommendation letter, as they know you by your final product (i.e., your thesis) and therefore they will go right to the point. Right in here, you could get at least your two recommendation letters; that is required for most postdoc jobs.

2. Other Professors In Your Group: Unless you have been a total social disaster in terms of communicating to the other academics in your research group, while you have been a Ph.D. student; you could ask a number of professors you know in your group. Ask them for a one on one meeting, explain your situation and kindly ask them for the recommendation letter. If you have been a bright student, believe me they have nothing to complain about and will give you a letter.

Sei comprensibilmente nervoso che qualcosa nel contenuto e nel tono della versione finale inviata possa rivelare il rapporto teso tra te e lavorare contro di te nel processo di candidatura. È impossibile per me dire se sarebbe in grado di scrivere una bella lettera senza che alcune sottigliezze dei suoi sentimenti verso di te e il tuo lavoro scivolino via. Ma posso dire che è dannoso per te, psicologicamente, provare questo grado di ansia e apprensione e che una lettera con sottile negatività, o un tono tiepido, danneggerebbe la tua domanda.

Potresti provare questo:

Prof. Così e così, so che abbiamo avuto le nostre differenze. Siamo due personaggi forti con una passione per la scienza e abbiamo approcci diversi. Dato che le cose non sono sempre andate bene tra di noi, volevo chiederti se sei davvero a tuo agio a scrivere una lettera di raccomandazione per me, o se pensi che mi sarebbe più utile cercare di trovare qualcun altro. p>

Devi trovare un modo per leggerlo e capire che tipo di lettera avrebbe inviato.

In caso di dubbio, non includerlo come riferimento. Invia al comitato una breve spiegazione. Tieni ben in mente l'esperienza e il lieto fine di Fábio.